*sigh* stupid. stupid stupid.

 

2morro being mine & anna's b'day, there's a lot of tension about presents & cakes as I can see. I've counted 3 cakes for tomorrow, not 2 mention 1 I get on Sunday, cause some cousins & close friends r coming over & celebrating. How fat am I going 2 get?! just when I wanted 2 eat healthy..tut tut nat...

 

On Saturday my house gets sold - or rather auctioned. 10am precisely. I don't care what happens really. My bedroom window overlooks the whole street, where the auction is going 2 take place, so I'll just sit here blogging on Saturday posting the results of the auction. I hope it goes 2 an investor, meaning we won't have 2 move & saves us all the trouble. Although, I also want a personal buyer 2 get it, cause I don't want 2 live in this hole of a house anymore. I don't understand y people want 2 buy it. There r so many problems with it! Ah well...they haven't been living in the house 4 the past 6 years, so I'll excuse them

 

2morro is also the Yr 11 assembly - us. Unfortunately, I'm playing 3 things now - walking-in-music, the school song, & a solo piece [a choice out of 2 Chopin pieces]. I mean, it's my bday, & i have 2 play 4 an assembly! meaning practice 2night, & in the morn w/ Chelsea, who's gonna sing the school song. @ least she's only got 2 - her solo & the SS, but shucks...me doing 3? --->>haha that rhymed ^.^

 

im waitin 2 c wut other peepz hav got me, cause usually im in on all the things being bought 4 other peepz, & now that I'm outside of that box I feel left out >.< but i suppose it is my bday as well as anna's, so they want 2 surprise us...

 

I haven't eaten ANYTHING 2day. I only had a cup of milk for breakfast, & I haven't eaten since. The strange thing is that i don't feel hungry. Wonder y...but i like this. Im fed up with being hungry all the time & caving into food-pressure (like peer pressure, except from food...) I don't want 2 starve myself, but I don't want 2 force my body 2 eat if it doesn't feel like it right now.

 

*sigh* karate 2night. Last lesson b4 gradings *kowaii/scary!* I really have 2 practice hard if i want 2 get 2 the nxt belt. I started harder training yesterday night, straight after a full day of school & tutoring, but i felt so good afterwards. My punches r really good. My kicks...getting better...my stances could b better, but they're good...& my kiyaii! is totally whack...but i can't change that... let's c how i go 2night, seeing as last time I was really sick during the session. Although, 2day I was pretty sick w/ period @ school, so i wonder how it'll turn out...

 

Awell...i plan 2 call anna really late & wish her happy birthday  I know she won't be pleased 2 have me call so late - or perhaps early, I can't b sure - but still. It's my 16th. I want 2 wish her 1st lol beat her 2 it.

 

Goodnight & goodbye. This is the last day I have of youth. 2morro, wish me well, for it will be gone

 

Forever

 

 

ahhhh~ 2day was majorly a school day. SO WHAT?!

 

I took anna's subtle yet effective advice, & I refuse 2 bitch about people online anymore - or most places in fact. I don usually like bitching, but if i lose my cool & wanna get bak @ sum1, I sometimes fly off the handle, & that's wen peepz like anna come & ground u & u take a step back b4 thinking "U loser...That was a really f***ed up thing 2 do."

 

...except 4 this...

 

ARG! I don't want 2 hold a particular grudge against this teacher or anything, but i'm still pissed off @ her! For no particular reason whatsoever, in the middle of assembly, when I was sitting silently watching the front, she points @ me, calls me out of my seat, & goes & tells me 2 sit on the floor, as if i'd committed the crime of the century! zomg...i was really pissed...& I was feeling tired & emotionally out of whack 2 cause i think everything inside me is going SWING SWING SWING right now...arg...y am i such an emotional boat @ this time of month?! & this teacher didn't make anything better...ah well..i'll let it slide...

 

I've generally kept 2 eating healthy over the past few days, so I'm happy w/ myself. The karate is also helping keep in shape, + it feels good while u do it as well as after  Again, I remind myself of gradings - on Tuesday nxt week! Eek! better practice...

 

Speaking of practice, I think I should definitely practice piano more - esp since I have 2 bloody play the piano 4 assembly on Friday - thnx Terri for that coin toss! lol i no it wasn't ur fault, but i still hold a grudge! lol jokes. I know it doesn't mean much 2 play in school, but still, I want the piece to reach a standard that I am satisfied with, which can't fully be achieved by Friday of course, but I want 2 have progressed by then, cause it's like helping me set a goal.

 

***

 

just 2 days until bday & im still not excited...shame really. This was the birthday I've always wanted 2 reach, always aspired 2, always thought I would never even live until 16...& now that I'm here...there's no more of that. I don't care if I pass that goal I set so many years ago, & I feel like crying when i think about how excited i used 2 be @ the mere thought of becoming grown up, because I realise, there's nothing once you get there. I think the whole experience was ruined, when I realised that you don't just become a 16 year old - you grow into one, which takes away all the glory & surprise you thought you'd find when you got there.

 

It's sad really. But it's so true. & now that I'm here, I don't want to be 16 anymore. I want to go back - I want time to stop & just rewind. Because I miss that feeling of waiting.

 

Waiting for this day.

 

This day, which i can't face today

 

not tomorrow

 

not ever

 

& it's so sad that the one wish i long for can't be granted on that one special day

 

*sigh*

 

wow~ it feels so weird to blog.

 

Lemme c. I'll try making up for the days i've missed.

 

 

I hate my school for blocking various USEFUL sites - when I say useful I mean useful 2 ME! Consider my needs people!

 

 

I'm craving to watch that drama Yui recommended called Nodame Cantabile as well as read the manga, because apparently the story is about musicians @ a music college & this weird girl called Nodame who can't read music very well but has an excellent ear & picks all the songs up by ear ---> sound familiar any1? I want 2 convince dad that reading isn't everything...even if it is SLIGHTLY important...ahem...He said he'd download anything i wanted at the end of the month, so that bandwidth isn't used up during the month itself (he needs it 4 work). So I've just emailed him the torrents & he should be nice enough 2 download the 1st 2 eps...i hope...>.<

 

Birthday - 

 

Anna's & my b'day on Friday, although I'm really not that excited. I don't even want a sliver of a party anymore. I feel so like...who gives a crap?! Ahh well...I just want anna 2 b happy I suppose, cause most of my pressies have been given  2 me.

 

Piano Concert - 

 

The concert on Thursday - the one with Ashkenazy the pianist - was the most inspirational experience i think I've ever had. I loved it so much, & I am so thankful towards dad for getting the tickets, cause he also got the chance to see it. We were sitting in such a position that we could see his face clearly, & I think he even smiled at us! Another pianist - Alexey - played as well, & that was superb. We got 2 meet him in the intermission with my piano teacher, & he was like 'Yes! Yes! Yes!' to everything lol Afterwards we went to have drinks with my piano teacher's other student - Yuka & her mum Noriko - & Alexey's girlfriend's parent (whoa - even I got confused x.x). It was really nice @ the Opera House bar & no 1 noticed we were underage - even tho we didn't drink alcohol. I tried sparkling water for the first time - & was absolutely disgusted - much to Yuka's amusement. On my birthday she's going for her 7th Grade exam, & then on the 8th of December she's off to Japan - the lucky girl! Ahh~ but i love Yuka. She's such a nice person & a great pianist. So my birthday wish goes to her on the exam day. So we practically spent the rest of the night talking about the concert, talking about Yuka going 2 Japan, talking about how much Japanese I could speak - which eventually turned into a Japanese lesson lol It was fun, & I loved it ^.^

 

Food - 

 

I want to start eating healthier. I want 2 stop buying shit outside of the home. I want 2 stop binging on Coke. So i will. I'm trying not to diet, but 2 eat healthier substitutes, so that I don't get fat or anorexic - just right.

 

Karate - 

 

Next week is gradings on Tuesday, so I really have 2 keep practicing >.< i really wanna get that green belt. I dunno how my sis will do - I dunno if she can get up 2 brown belt this time. We shall c...

 

Photoshop -

 

As most of my contacts know & get disgusted by, I have been attempting photoshop. I know anna & angie are especially pleased with their altered photo - ahem - but ah...i wanna do every 1, just 2 c their reactions lol

 

this is the 1 I did of them:

 

 

lol i don think they appreciate it v. much - esp the difference in skin colour - look how tanned angie is!

 

***

 

N e way...that's all for today. Now i wait for my birthday! i still dunno wut they're getting me, & am starting to suspect that Monica might be right in saying that they're getting me a bag of dung...

OWAHHHH ~ today was so eventful!

 

1st: woke up BY MYSELF @ 6am, & didn't feel tired whatsoever, even tho i went 2 sleep @ 1am. Be proud of me peepz, cause it's neva happened b4!

2nd: went 2 period 0 - FUN! ..not...english ext 2 was boring as usual. none of us even use the time wisely! what's the point man?!

3rd: got money from peepz 4 Victoria's & Figgy's presents

4th: Finished school @ 2nd period & went off w. yui 2 get figgy's & vickie's pressies

5th: got Victoria a nice bag (took us ages 2 chose ) but still we think it was worth it.

6th: went 2 Kino, got figgy a nice sketch book, a studio ghibli sheet music book, & a pencil case. I think she'll like it, along w. the DVDs I burnt 4 her.

7th: Yui wanted 2 go 2 the second hand manga store, but i needed 2 go home. She ended up going alone while I went on the train. 5 mins after getting on the train she calls me asking if she was going in the right direction  how did i know this would happen?! trust yui & the lack of her inner sense of direction..then again i got a lil lost by the time i got 2 meadowbank...so i can't say much when it comes 2 direction either...

8th: got home by 3ish the weather was & is, stinking HOT! zomg...im still sittin in the heat, cooking like...stew...yuk...

 

i hav karate 2night, & i think we're all gonna overheat...NOT GOOD! gradings r sooo soon that we need all the sessions we can get, & this weather isn't helping >.<

 

 

Today during English Ext 1 I was watching Anna review her MySpace & decided 2 read her blog through & through. Then, cause I wanted 2 comment on her blog I found out I needed 2 create a myspace, but then found out that I already had 1! baka me...so I've decided to keep this blog carefully; like a record of the stupid happenings in my life...just like anna...lol sorry anna >.<

 

Lemme c...today I have piano in the evening, which I haven't practiced WHATSOEVER during the week! ah, sorry. Not true. I think I've practiced twice this week, but that's about it. Last week, with hardly any practice, my teacher seemed pleased. Let's hope it's the same this week

 

I was really happy 2day, especially since dad got me new Sony headphone's yesterday as part of my b'day present :D so obviously I couldn't resist showing them off. Then there was also the fixing of my harddrive, which after a month of having no computer access whatsoever (i should've been put in rehab cause i was starting 2 get da shakes w/o my comp ) finally it was repaired & now I have 200 GB of free space & new software & more crap that I absolutely love my dad for getting *hugs dad* u just gotta love the computer wizz in da family

 

Thanks 2 Fiona, I was reminded of that stupid video on Youtube called 'Charlie the Unicorn: the adventure to candy mountain'. THANKS A BUNCH FIG! for nearly 10 minutes, Angie & I were constantly imitating the annoying unicorns & talking about how easily amused we were, while Anna got pissed off... well, i think she was pissed off cause Sumedha invited herself in2 our group 4 english ext...AGAIN...so i can understand where she's coming from.

 

*sigh* what a long, laborious, & boring post. Tomorrow Yui & I r off 2 buy pressies for Victoria & Fiona. Makes me anxious about what people will get me 4 my birthday...*coughCxDxGnoArashiVolumes1&2cough* lol let's c who can figure it out, cause like, the cheapest place 2 get the two dvds r @ amazon.co.jp where they both 2getha cost a total of $55, which i don't think they'll have a prob raising, but I dunno who's credit card they're gonna use *sigh* i'll think of it as a challenge 4 them!